Simple Kindness: #12

BE THE KIND OF IN-LAW YOU WANT TO HAVE

We become in-laws at vulnerable times in our lives. If we have just married, we may be young, unsure of our goals, dealing with unresolved issues in our own family, and adjusting to our new partner. If it's our child who's married, we're facing the end of active parenting, our own aging, and uncertainties about our place in the new couple's life.

Some worry or tension is inevitable. But, we don't have to let that get in the way of our new relationship. We can extend ourselves, be positive, and remember that we are connected to our in-laws by mutual love for a person--partner or spouse or child--we hold dear.


REMINDERS

* When your child marries or is involved with someone, recognize that it can take years for your son or daughter in-law to feel truly comfortable and learn your family's ways. Be flexible, non-judgmental, and patient.

* Don't intrude on your child's marriage or relationship by criticizing, imposing your wishes, or forcing the couple to make difficult choices. In all ways, be supportive, understanding, and encouraging.

* As a son or daughter in-law, treat your in-laws with courtesy. Take an interest in them, and show that you love and are good to their child.

* Don't hamper your partner's relationship with your mother or father in-law. Also, don't automatically adopt your partner's attitude toward them, especially if it's negative, create your own relationship.

* Include your own mother and Father in-law in your family and holiday activities, if possible, encourage ties with your children.


SIMPLE KINDNESS=HOW TO BE KIND IN AN OFTEN RUDE WORLD