Simple Kindness: #9

TREAT YOUR PARENTS AS YOU HOPE YOUR CHILDREN ONE DAY WILL TREAT YOU

No matter what the quality of our relationship with our parents, we're permanently and inextricably bound to them. They're with us, if not in person then in our memories and in the attitudes, values, and emotions they've helped create in us. Our feelings about our parents are surely mixed. We may love them dearly but question many of their actions. We may regard them with regret or anger, but still isolate loving moments. As our lives and theirs unfold, we can do our best to stay purposefully connected, not just in a dutiful way but out of love, a desire to understand ourselves and them better, an attempt to salvage what we can, or curiosity about what else this profound relationship may offer.

REMINDERS

* Acknowledge your parents' effort and love. Appreciate and praise what they have done well; try and understand their mistakes.

* Once you've permanently left their home, don't remain dependent or burden them with your practical needs except in an emergency.

* Show an interest--ask about their activities and concerns and listen to their ideas and suggestions. Be courteous, but don't feel you have to agree with what is said or give in to unreasonable demands.

* Stay involved--spend time with your parents, include them in some of your activities, introduce them to your friends, share your news with them.

* Encourage a strong relationship between your parents and your children.

* Accept your parents' personal choices. Offer assistance, but don't impose your way of doing things. If your parents become quite ill or impaired, try to ease their way and help them maintain a good quality of life.

SIMPLE KINDNESS=HOW TO BE KIND IN AN OFTEN RUDE WORLD