Monday, April 21, 2014

Friday, April 18, 2014

Learning


Our Word

I tend to value my relationship with another human being based upon the extent that I know that they will do what they tell me they are going to do. This is how I know I can trust them. I enjoy and appreciate those with whom I can be sure that they will do as they say and say as they do. I admire knowing that I need not be concerned about this aspect of my relationship with this particular person because they have a character of integrity and commitment to what they identify as their responsibility.
Really all we possess is our integrity and our honor. Many years ago, when I was a very young man I was being treated by a very wonderful therapist. He knew me well and told me that he found it very interesting and noteworthy that I always seemed to keep my promises to others, but found that I did not always follow through with promises I had made to myself. I came to the realization that he was correct and from that moment forward I made it my intention to never let myself down ever again.
I developed a strange, but effective habit of looking at my own face in the mirror each morning and made myself promises of what I would do for myself and what I would accomplish that day. I would look at myself directly in the eyes and promise what I would do for myself and what I would do for others. I made sure that the promises were reasonable and achievable. Then, once I made these promises to myself, I was not going to allow anything nor anyone to stop me. To this day, I continue this rather strange but effective habit. It works for me. Find out what works for you.
My effort is always to make sure that everyone that I come into contact with knows that I will always keep my word to them. I am very careful choosing what I agree to accept complete responsibility for and to as I know that my reputation and integrity is on the line. I have seen that many people tend to accept responsibility for something because they experience great difficulty saying “no” to someone. I want them to trust, without exception, that if I give them my word on something they can consider it done. That gift I provide to them is also a gift I provide for myself.


EXCERPT: from "A Prescription For Contentment".
Author: Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin/PhD
Available at Amazon.com

Monday, April 14, 2014

"Experts"


The Theory of Contrast

The theory of contrast states that in order for one to fully appreciate an experience one has had to have had the experience of having a contrasting experience.
For example, in order for someone to fully appreciate what it is like to be loved by a person it is necessary to have had the experience of being hated by another. In order to fully appreciate having expendable money one has to have had the experience of not being able to purchase what one wanted.
We can all think of situations where without the contrast someone cannot possibly appreciate their present experience. Think of someone you knew who grew up in a family of means and with parents who bought them anything they ever wanted whenever they wanted it. Could they really comprehend the true value of working hard for something and then obtaining it? I think it is more difficult for them. What about someone who grew up with abusive parents. Could they not appreciate more fully the experience of being unconditionally loved by another human being? If one experiences chronic pain could they not fully appreciate moments of pain cessation more fully and completely?
As an advocate of the theory of contrast, I see every single human experience as beneficial. Every moment has something to teach us, even the painful ones. In fact, we only grow during the painful and uncomfortable experiences. We simply “coast” through the comfortable times preparing ourselves for the next uncomfortable experience.
Whenever things are going well do not be attached to this moment for it will indeed change and life will once again become painful and uncomfortable. Whenever things are very uncomfortable be careful not to become attached to it remaining so.
Every moment we experience has a lesson just waiting for us to learn. Our task is to be open to the lesson and to be mindfully aware of every second.


Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin/PhD
EXCERPT from: "A Prescription For Contentment"
Available @ Amazon.com

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Trees


Relationships

Many people live with the illusion that they can change another person. This is one of the reasons why they have relationship difficulties. People can change, yes. People do not change because of anything we do or say or make demands about.
People change for only one reason: They want to. Yes, it can be a conversation that you have with them that causes them to make a change. Yes, it can be a new way of seeing things or a new understanding that causes them to make a change. Yes, it can be an experience that initiates change within them. However, you can’t make them change. Without their cooperation and intention to do so change is quite impossible.
Allowing people in your life to be who they are is an act of pure love. Trying to change someone is, in my opinion, abusive and completely disrespectful to them. You are basically informing them that they are almost perfect but they just need to change these particular things and they will have achieved perfection. It is unkind and destructive. It will not work. Any change that may occur with a person is a change they made themselves. Accept your loved ones for whom they are in this moment. That is pure love in action.

Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin/PhD
EXCERPT: "A Prescription For Contentment"
Copyright by permission only