Dr. Crew's NLP Lessons #5(B)

CREATING RAPID RAPPORT-Part 2

There are countless ways to quickly build rapport with someone. Perhaps you have the same name, attended the same school, or are in the same profession as they are. Maybe you have a similar sense of humor and laugh at the same things. Whatever these things are, you can feel a quick connection with them because you can relate to each other on a certain level.

The REAL key is being able to quickly establish rapport with someone who you don't have these connections with already.

The NLP technique of building rapid rapport is as simple as learning to fine tune your senses and pick up on another person's cues.

By cluing in to another person's physiology, the tonality in their voice, and the way they use words, you are being given a blueprint into how their mind works. Once you see how their mind works, you can match and mirror these techniques so that they will feel more understood and find it easier to relate with you.

The next time you are speaking with someone, try and match and mirror their non-verbal cues. For example, notice how they are standing or sitting and casually try to match their posture.

You can listen mindfully to their use of language. Are they an auditory, visual, or kinesthetic communicator? Auditory people tend to use phrases such as, " I hear what you are saying", or "Listen" before they start a sentence. Visual people tend to say things like, "I see what you mean", or "Look", before starting a sentence. Lastly, kinesthetic people tend to use phrases in a way that communicates feelings, such as, "I feel", or describe things in a very visceral and internal way.


Lastly, and on a very personal note, I want to emphasize the importance of your own intentions while mirroring and matching a person's style. I have found this technique extremely useful and practical when done with the true intention of desiring to connect with another person. Many NLP techniques are taught in an effort to help people manipulate others to increase sales and their own pocketbooks. Personally, I find this heinous. When one's desire is to connect with others so both you and the other person benefits with increased communication and understanding of each other-everyone wins! When one attempts to manipulate and control the behavior of another, it is clearly unkind and a poor way to treat another person. (not to mention, really, really bad KARMA!)