Simple Kindness: #4

OFFER AND TAKE CRITICISM AS YOU HOPE OTHERS WILL

Everyone has some difficulty accepting criticism. We often feel defensive, upset, and angry-less so if the criticism involves something we can and would want to change, more so if the criticism seems like an attack.

Keeping our own sensitivity in mind can help us be more careful and mindful about what we say to others. If criticism contains important and useful information, it is certainly worth offering or listening to. But, if it's harsh and given simply to vent anger, it needs to remain unsaid or unheeded. We encounter enough hurt and pain in our daily lives, we simply do not need to purposely inflict more on others or take more on ourselves.

REMINDERS

* If you truly believe your criticism will help, and if the message is one you would want to hear if the situation were reversed-say your peace.

* Pick your words carefully and think about their effect. Be straightforward and respectful. Give your message privately to another.

* Don't unfairly criticize people who, because of their relationship with you, can't effectively answer back your criticism: your children, your employees, your clients, people who serve you in offices or stores.

* If someone you care about has a sincere criticism of you, hear it out. You need to know what he or she thinks, even if you don't agree with what's said.

* If someone's criticism is spiteful and gratuitous, don't respond on the same level. Speak calmly or simply end the exchange. If the speaker is someone in authority and you can't get away, learn what you can from the situation, even if only how NOT to treat others.

SIMPLE KINDNESS=HOW TO BE KIND IN AN OFTEN RUDE WORLD