Simple Kindness: #17

DO AND ACCEPT FAVORS THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO

We often agree to do favors without expecting an equal effort in return. If we like the people who are asking, if they need us, and if we can do the job, we'll go ahead. Our sense of accomplishment may be reward enough, or our satisfaction may come from the company of the people we've helped or the belief that they will lend us a hand in the future.

To feel good about doing and asking for favors, all we need is a sense of balance and fairness in the relationship as a whole. Without this, we may feel put-upon by unreasonable requests, and feel guilty and reluctant about asking for assistance. With a basic trust in an overall relationship--whether at work, at home, in the neighborhood, or among friends--we simply ask for and offer help as needed.


REMINDERS

* When you've agreed to do a favor, be friendly and generous about it. If you act begrudgingly, your effort won't be appreciated.

* Follow through once you have committed yourself. If you've said "yes" too much--either out of a desire to help or in response to pressure--do your best, since others are now counting on you; try to be more cautious about future favors.

* Don't let yourself be repeatedly imposed upon. You can turn down a request without an explanation.

* Don't ask for favors too casually or too often--recognize the amount of effort you're requesting; if possible, accomplish the task in some other way.

* Ask only for favors that are aboveboard, honest, and ethical.

* Be clearly grateful for a favor done. Even if the task appeared easy for the person, give full credit--the person may be keeping the difficulties or unpleasantness of the effort from you.


SIMPLE KINDNESS=HOW TO BE KIND IN AN OFTEN RUDE WORLD.