Dr. Crew's NLP Lessons #21

NEGATIVE SPOTLIGHTING

This is a very effective tool to learn for psychotherapists (and for everyone in general).

Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches us to constantly re-evaluate our generalizations and presuppositions that we use in our course of thinking and verbalizing. We often use statements that are immature and/or inaccurate when conversing with others. We also utilize faulty thinking coming up with inaccurate assumptions when these faulty generalizations are not challenged.

But, here lies the problem. We often cannot objectively challenge ourselves with how we think or verbalize. Even with our best intentions, we lack the distance we need to challenge these faulty statements and thinking patterns. It is extremely helpful to have someone in our lives that knows us so well that they can point out these inaccuracies in our speech and cognitive processes. We also need to have someone that we know has our best intentions at heart when they point these inaccuracies out to us. I am fortunate enough to have my partner, Michael, who knows me so very well and can catch me in my own messy generalizations and inaccuracies and always have my best interest at the forefront of his intentions. He provides me with the information I need to better myself by being more accurate with my thinking and language.

As therapists, we can do this for our clients and patients. We can mirror for our clients these inconsistencies, generalizations, and assumptions so they can see how these tendencies are keeping them in their fixed view of the world and repetitive patterns and schemas.

We can point out to them when their self-talk is negative and defeating. We can shed light on situations where they are making complete assumptions as truth when the information is lacking. We can spotlight for them when they are repeating a similar pattern in cognition or behaviors that has caused them to remain fixated in their growth and development. Even their use of the terms, "I can't", or "I'll never", or "I always" is setting into motion a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sometimes, I use humor to bring these patterns into the spotlight. This tends to work well if the person I am working with knows who I am and knows my intentions and gets my sense of humor.