Roots and Wings

I often listen to Contemporary Christian Music on my Sirius radio in my car. I heard a song the other day called "Find Your Wings" by Mark Harris. I was moved by this song. I quickly went to the web to locate the lyrics. He wrote this song for his children.

My favorite parts of the song are these:
"I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams; and that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I'm here for you whatever this life brings; so let my love give you roots; and help you find your wings."

"It's not living if you don't reach for the sky; I'll have tears as you take off; but I'll cheer as you fly."

So often in my practice I see parents who do not provide the essential "roots" and "wings" for their children. They sometimes hold on when the child is attempting to "fly" fearing their own abandonment and fearing the "empty nest syndrome." Other times, parents do not provide the unconditional love that we all need to make these "flight attempts", by fostering dependency or promoting fear in their children. We all need to navigate our own lives.

It is so very true that a child who feels loved and supported and is offered a safe place to land when they are provided with encouragement to truly "fly" can do great things. I believe these are the greatest gifts a parent can provide for their child; ROOTS and WINGS.

Often, a parent provides one without the other. Roots are provided, but not wings leading the child to fear the outside world and fearful of going out on their own seeing the world as a place that will cause them harm. Others are provided with wings without roots and are sent out on their own without the abilities to take care of themselves and not feeling the loving support of their caregivers. They may feel unlovable and possess poor self esteem not believing in their own ability to be responsible for their own destiny and to adjust to the situations that life brings their way.