Monday, January 12, 2009

MOM -and Dad's impending death

I am very concerned about my Mother. I spoke with her last evening and she is once again doubting herself and what my Father is deciding to do. She is clearly bargaining once again. There is also an element of shock still going on with her. They have been married for over 52 years and I don't know how she will deal with my Father's death.

I continue to reassure her that this is HIS decision and that she did not decide this for him. She tends to feel that perhaps we are pressuring him into this decision. I told her that if she feels that if she wants him to fight on then she needs to tell him this so they are communicating effectively about this. Of course, then she says that is a selfish thing to say to him. I assure her it's not selfish - it's honest and real. I'll see what she states to him this morning when I meet with both Mom and dad at his hospital bedside. If he decides to fight on, WE FIGHT ON.

I am also very concerned about my youngest sister, Janice. She is having an especially difficult time processing all of this. We always have joked that she was my Father's favorite, but there are elements of this joking that are based in truth. She is the youngest of us and he certainly considered her his "baby."

I will be there for all of my family members during this ordeal. I continue to take good care of myself and surround myself with those who love me and support me. What in the world would I ever do without my Michael? I just can't fathom dealing with all of this without him by my side. I rely on the Lord and place all within His hands. Through Him, I remain strong.

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