DAD Update

My Father is now essentially non-verbal. He is showing signs of dying that I remember so well from being a medical social worker at hospice care and home care agencies. He is very restless, picking at the sheets, and wanting to take off his oxygen mask and nasal gastric tube. He seems to be alert at times, but cannot always make his needs known. Today he is due for yet another dialysis treatment which would be his fourth in five days. The doctor states that his BUN levels have come down a bit due to the dialysis, but not significantly. (BUN levels should be between 10-25, my Dad's are now at 148.)

I spoke with my Mother yesterday at the hospital about what I am seeing in terms of possible s/s of dying. My Mom was very upset, but she agreed today to sign a partial DNR order to prevent my Dad from being placed on a ventilator. She states that he never wanted to be kept alive by machines, but wanted to receive CPR if his heart stopped. I am going to call his nephrologist today to receive his prognosis although I am quite certain as to what I am seeing as I watch him.

Today, after his dialysis, Dad will begin receiving liquid nutrition through his PICC line.

I continue to hold his hand, give him water when he requests it on his lips, and be with my family around his bedside. I continue to hold out hope that the dialysis will promote some miracle, but I am resigned to his death. I hate to see him this way. This is going on for so long.

What's even more annoying is that I have jury service beginning on Monday which I have tried to get out of but no one cares. I am going to go down there Monday and explain the situation with my Dad dying and my desire to be there as he dies and also to be with my Mom and family. I just pray that someone there will evidence some compassion and empathy and allow me to go and be there for my Father in his last moments. This is so important to me.