Insight and Awareness from Pain (For GR)

I often tell patients that when one commits to the true intention of doing therapy with a qualified and skillful therapist who truly cares, life will never be the same again. It's actually quite impossible that things CAN be the same as when you begin this process. The process of psychotherapy is not for the meek or those looking for an easy way out. Those who continue to work in therapy are the bravest souls of all.

Often it is a struggle for me to resist my desire to rescue someone I am working with and relieve them from painful feelings and often difficult new awarenesses that arise through our work together. I consistently need to remind myself that through emotional pain and feelings of being overwhelmed true growth occurs. In fact, I believe that none of us truly grows when life is easy and non-challenging. It is only through these difficult and very uncomfortable insights that we develop the skills we need to move past old schemas and outdated ways of thinking and viewing the world that no longer fit who we are.

No one can truly rescue someone from this process. In this process, we are forging new ego strengths and abilities that need to be developed. Those old outdated ways of seeing the world will no longer provide relief as they have been exposed for what they always were.

We can never prevent anyone from leaving us or choosing to move on. This is always their choice and true love is the freedom of knowing this and still giving our heart to another. We cannot lose ourselves in the effort to prevent someone from abandoning us. We are only to be ourselves and know that we are enough just as we are. Trying to make someone constantly feel happy with us or love us will always result in a loss of self respect and self esteem. Anyway, it's really just an illusion. People can always leave us when and if they wish to. We cannot control this. If we think we can we are clearly deluding ourselves. We need to be the best US we can be; nothing more, nothing less. Either this will be what that person seeks or it will not be.

From pain and emotional distress will come clear understanding and insight born from awareness and openness for change and growth. I always see my role as an unconditional supporter and my office as a consistently safe place to process feelings without judgement or rejection. I never take lightly the awesome responsibility of being involved in this process. What a true priviledge. What a wonderful opportunity to provide compassion and be present as other beings grow and evolve.