Simple Kindness: #1

LISTEN THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO LISTEN TO YOU

Often, those we are the closest to tell us, "You're not listening!". Or, "You just don't understand." And, frequently, it's true. We hear their words, but we can tend to think about ourselves and what we will say next. We can make quick assumptions and jump in with a response. Then, we lose focus, show impatience, and look for an escape.

The message we give is, "What you're saying isn't important." But, if we truly value our connections with others, we need to listen with care, first because we all wish to be heard and understood, and second, because we need the information and insight we receive from truly listening to stay connected to others, learn, and love.


REMINDERS

* If you are taking the time to listen, make sure you are acting in a way that communicates you WANT to listen. Focus on the speaker and ignore distractions.

* Show courtesy regardless of the speaker's age or position in life.

* Try to truly understand what is being said. Check to see if you've got it right by asking questions or paraphrasing the person's statements and ideas.

* When you care about the speaker, listen even to messages you'd rather not hear. You can learn from words that are honest or heartfelt.

* If you feel hurt by what someone says, consider the context and what you know of the person before assuming that harm was their intention.

* As much as possible, don't let a harsh, angry speaker provoke or control you. Don't reward a verbal bully by admiring the power he or she may gain through intimidation of others.

* Compliment or thank those who are consistently thoughtful speakers.

SIMPLE KINDNESS = HOW TO BE KIND IN AN OFTEN RUDE WORLD