I don't want to be "nice"

Nice people to me are fake and manipulative. I only wish to be honest and kind. It's a huge difference to me.

I find the "nicest" people I have ever met were often harboring angry thoughts and resentment. No one would have known it. All of a sudden they BLOW! Wow, where did all of this come from? I think they often try to be so damn "nice" and neglect the importance of honesty and kindness in their interactions with others.

I love people who are honest and who can tell me what they feel and not have to worry about being "nice". They communicate truthfully with me and always try to do so with love and kindness. I can trust them and know that if they are feeling something negative about me or something I have said or done they will tell me so because they are honest and kind. AND NOT NICE!

Truly, honesty is not enough by itself. Many so called "honest" people can be quite cruel with what they say to others. They do not take into consideration any care or kindness in delivering their message to others. "Come on , I'm just being honest. Why are you so sensitive?"They are often just plain old passive-aggressive. Kindness is not enough either. Many so called "kind" people are just plain disingenuous with what they say. They are often "people- pleasers" who seek approval from others to feel good about themselves. I'd call them codependent. I am careful around them because I think more is going on here than what is on the surface.

No. The combination of kindness and honesty is what I strive for! I'd also add the caring qualities of TIMING, EMPATHY, and COMPASSION to this mix and you have the best communicator on Earth! Someone whom you can rely on! They will tell you what they feel and deliver that message in a way that is filled with love and care. You never have to guess or be concerned about what they are thinking or feeling.


I think the world needs more honesty and kindness: not more niceness. In fact, I think the world is dying of niceness.

I try to live this way. I want a person who knows me to be sure that I will tell them what I'm feeling in the kindest way possible. A person who knows me enough to be sure that when I speak with them I have thought of the kindest way possible to tell them what I feel and that I have no intention to hurt them in any way. That is what I appreciate from others and what I can provide for them. This way, we can have a relationship built on total honesty and authentic care in delivering our truths and perspectives. Being open to other's perspective and appreciating differences in perspectives is key. Lastly, admitting when you make mistakes is crucial.