Boundaries in relationships

I once listened to a speaker named Brian Weiss who likened boundaries to zippers. He stated that like a zipper we can open up to someone whenever we feel comfortable and close it down completely denying any access to others we feel not so comfortable with. He added that unlike most zippers "boundary zippers" have the tab on the INSIDE so we control the level of exposure. I thought it was an amazing analogy. I always remember that this is imperative in interactions with others.

With some people I find I can feel comfortable with rather easily and our relationship develops organically and naturally. With others, I feel less comfortable and take my time. There are others that I can clearly feel uncomfortable with and I have learned to honor this intuition. I always allow the opportunity for growth and change in all relationships. Not judging others is something I continue to work on. After all, we know very little about most people and what we do know is from what they tell us. I find it helpful to observe them and let the process of relationship development to continue. The more time and experiences I have with someone the more I learn whether or not I'll choose to spend more time with them. Sometimes, it's just not a match and that's OK. I am quite sure I am not everyone's cup of tea.

I try to find the part of God in others for it is always there somewhere. I'll admit, with some people it's difficult to locate.

Boundaries are our levels of comfortability with another. They are often difficult to fully comprehend. It makes no sense to me why I am so comfortable with some people and just not so with others. I honor my feelings and provide openness and genuineness to all sentient beings. I tend to really dislike being around those who present as self-centered and arrogant. I tend to gravitate towards people who are honest, kind, and nonjudgmental. It's interesting that as I grow older I find myself enjoying others I may not have have given myself an opportunity to get to know. I find I am more tolerant of others as I look for that part of them I can have fun with, relate with, or grow from. I also find I am even more sure of those I know are not people I want to be around. I can move away from them and not have problems with them. I need to respect other's boundaries and be prepared to defend my own at all times. I need to have the clear intention to do so with kindness and care.

I am so very fortunate to have friends I know just "get me". I am so grateful for a partner who truly knows who I am and what I am about. He is certainly my very best and dearest friend. We move as one, but have our own lives as well. We are both just better together; individually and collectively.