Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Disagreements In Relationships

Misunderstanding and disagreement in any relationship can actually be an opportunity to learn about ourselves. However, most of the time we simply focus on how the other person is wrong. It is easier to point the finger than to look to ourselves and face the unpleasant truth that we may share some or all of the responsibility. We think, "If he (or she) were only more considerate, had more time for me, or did the dishes more, then I'd be happy."
Instead of looking at our own behavior, we believe that the other person is the problem. We believe we are justified, reasonable and more than fair. They need to change.
Of course, it is human nature to want to be right. Most arguments start with small issues and escalate. Problems grow the longer we hold our positions. We gather evidence, adding fuel to the fire, and over time, we lose sight of the original issue. What we are left with is, at best, distance in a relationship, and at worst, no relationship at all.

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