REAL LOVE

REAL LOVE IS ACCEPTING OTHER PEOPLE JUST THE WAY THEY ARE WITHOUT ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE THEM. IF WE TRY TO CHANGE THEM, THIS MEANS WE REALLY DO NOT LIKE THEM. IT IS EASIER TO FIND SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY THE WAY YOU WANT HIM OR HER TO BE, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO CHANGE THAT PERSON.

A Paradox

It's one of life's great paradoxes.

Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us is critical to happiness.

Yet without a goal and commitment, life loses much of its value.

The best we can do in the face of this paradox is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat, and be ready to play again.

Bitterness

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Blame Diet

Put yourself on a strict blame diet. Blame is never warranted. Practice shifting from blame to wonder. Here’s the best way to make the shift. Create a pleasant sound through an entire out breath. This sound shifts you from your critical brain into your wonder brain. Then add in the phrase, out loud: “I wonder what I can learn from this.” Repeat the sequence until you’re actually experiencing wonder.

ART

WE ARE THE INSTRUMENTS THROUGH WHICH THE FORCE OF LIFE EXPRESSES ITSELF. WE EXPRESS OUR ART IN EVERYTHING WE SAY, EVERYTHING WE FEEL, AND EVERYTHING WE DO. THE CREATION IS ONGOING, IT IS ENDLESS, IT IS HAPPENING IN EVERY MOMENT.

Using What We Have Now

There will always be someone who knows more and does more–and does it better than us.

We can either sit around lamenting the skills we don’t have, or use the ones we do and allow them to grow over time.

Peace Within

When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.

Visualization Techniques For Healthy Eating

Still having a tough time getting all your fruits and vegetables? Visualize yourself eating them — it will help you to actually do it.

A study at McGill University found that people ate more fruit when they pictured themselves doing it. The reason? Using visualization techniques that allow you to see yourself carrying out your plan can help you accomplish it.

Athletes have long utilized these kinds of mental strategies to help them visualize their success. Picturing your performance helps solidify the idea and makes it feel more doable. Come up with a concrete plan — like adding an extra helping of fruit or veggies to each meal — write it down and then envision yourself shopping for, preparing and eating them.

IMMUNE

WHAT OTHERS SAY AND DO IS A PROJECTION OF THEIR OWN REALITY, THEIR OWN DREAM.

WHEN YOU ARE IMMUNE TO THE OPINIONS AND ACTIONS OF OTHERS, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE THE VICTIM OF NEEDLESS SUFFERING.

A Measure Of Friendship

"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention." Clifton Fadiman

Depending On Yourself

You must understand yourself enough to know what you want in life and what desires you believe are worthwhile for your future.

You need to depend upon yourself and your talents.

Appreciate others for their personal skills and abilities, but always continue to focus on your own strengths and energies.

Life is much too short to spend it worrying about someone else's accomplishments or expecting someone else to be responsible for making your life better.

The Mind-Body Connection

Headaches, back pain and insomnia can all be signs of anxiety or stress. Regular meditation, yoga or exercise can help you feel better. Are you taking care of your emotional health? When we neglect our feelings, we often feel it in our body, in the form of an upset stomach, body aches, exhaustion or heart palpitations. When we’re embarrassed, we might blush; when we’re angry, we grow tense or feel our heart pound. These are examples of the mind-body connection. Holding on to negative emotions can take a toll on our health. Depression, long-term stress and anxiety can all wear us down and compromise our immune system, making us susceptible to colds and other infections. If we’re tense, we clench our muscles, often without even realizing it. This can lead to back, shoulder or neck pain. It’s important to cope with our emotions in healthy ways. Exercise, deep breathing, meditation, yoga and other mind-body workouts can help fortify our emotional well-being and reduce our body’s reaction to stress. Choose an activity you enjoy, and make time for it every day.

CREATING OUR STORY

I LIVE IN A WORLD OF ILLUSION MADE BY IMAGES OF LIGHT.

THE STORY I CREATE IS A VIRTUAL REALITY THAT IS ONLY TRUE FOR ME, THE ONE WHO CREATES IT.

Choosing Our Own Attitude

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone." Victor Frankl

Flying

"Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!

The magic feather was just a gag!

You can fly!

Honest, you can!"

Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo

Double Dating With Other Couples

Go on a double date.

Couples who bond with other couples report feeling happier and closer. Forging close friendships with other couples could be the key to marital bliss. Couples who spend time bonding with other couples report greater relationship satisfaction than those who hang out just with each other. Among couples who went out on double dates, those who carried on meaningful conversations felt more positive afterward than those who engaged in small talk. The emotional boost from the newfound friendships translated into feeling closer to their romantic partner. According to the researchers, bonding with others helps you bond with each other.

Your Guru

"Death is your guru.

Let it teach you how to LIVE!"

Buddha

Mindful Observation

We can use our breathing to be in contact with out feelings and accept them. If our breathing is light and calm--a natural result of conscious breathing--our mind and body will slowly become light, calm, and clear, and our feelings also.

Mindful observation is based on the principle of "non-duality": our feeling is not separate from us or caused merely by something outside us; our feeling is us, and for the moment we are that feeling. We are neither drowned in nor terrorized by the feeling, nor do we reject it. Our attitude of not clinging to or rejecting our feelings is the attitude of letting go, an important part of meditation practice.
If we face our unpleasant feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into the kind of energy that is healthy and has the capacity to nourish us. By the work of mindful observation, our unpleasant feelings can illuminate so much for us, offering us insight and understanding into ourselves and others.

Creating Yourself

"Life isn't about finding yourself.

Life is about CREATING yourself."

George Bernard Shaw

The Formula

Your weight-loss formula: Cut 250 calories a day to lose half a pound a week. Walk two miles to burn 150; nix the rest by cutting cola.
Take the guesswork out of weight loss by turning your diet into a fail-proof formula. It takes a 3,500-calorie deficit to drop a pound of body fat. That means you’ll need to cut out 250 calories a day to lose half a pound per week.
A two-mile walk will easily burn 150 calories, leaving you with just 100 more calories to subtract from your diet. You can do that by forgoing a can of soda or skipping your afternoon cookies.
If your goal is to lose a pound each week, you’ll have to create a 500-calorie deficit each day. To do so, taper off your calories gradually; this will give your appetite time to adjust, making you less prone to failure.

JUST TO BE

YOU ARE ALIVE, SO TAKE YOUR LIFE AND ENJOY IT.
YOU WERE BORN TO BE HAPPY, TO LOVE, AND TO SHARE.
JUST TO BE---TO TAKE A RISK, AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE--IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Perceptions

I slowly began to realize through studying myself, as well as paying attention to others around me, was that those things that would upset me, would not upset someone else. I also noticed that those things that appeared to be the biggest deal to someone else, only made me laugh. So what was going on? Obviously, it couldn't be the situation itself because that was the one constant thing in each equation. What did change was who was interpreting the situation. That was what was different.

So I began to wonder if my perception of a situation, any situation, was something I could control? Could I change the way I perceived something, and therefore, change my emotional reaction? I discovered, that yes it was possible. I wasn't necessarily in control over what happened to me, or around me, but I was definitely in control over how I responded to those situations. I began to play with this idea a bit. I believe that the people in our lives are great mirrors for how we think and behave, and therefore, can be great educational tools.

What I began to see over and over again was that when most of us get upset it is for one reason and one reason only. The universe is not behaving the way we believe it should behave. This could mean that we didn't get the raise we believed we were entitled too, so we become disappointed. If we had not expected a raise in the first place, however, we never would have been disappointed would we? It could also mean that someone does not treat us in a particular way that we believe we should be treated. Or someone dies before we believe they should die. It can be as heavy as that.

I am not saying it isn't sad, but at the same time it isn't our choice to say how long someone is to live, now is it? Those are our perceptions of what we want, of how we want the universe to behave.

When we get disappointed, we never stop and think that it is our perceptions or beliefs that are wrong. We think it is the universe that is wrong because of how we feel personally! That is a pretty grand stand to take when you think about it.

Surround Yourself

Spend your time with spiritually evolved people who encourage your growth and applaud your successes. Wrap yourself in a support network of inspirational people with positive attitudes and energy.

Preventing Muscle and Bone Loss

How to prevent muscle and bone loss as you get older: Eat your fruits and vegetables. Plant foods may help to preserve bone and muscle.
Meat, potatoes and pasta — the typical American feasts on a protein and carbohydrate-heavy diet. When we eat them, these foods produce small amounts of acid in the body. Over decades, this can disrupt the pH levels in our body, leading to an overly acidic environment.
For optimal functioning, our bodies require slightly alkaline conditions. According to researchers at the Jean Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University, this slight shift in pH, known as mild acidosis, can trigger muscle wasting and bone loss as we age.
You can help combat this slow deterioration by eating a diet that’s bursting with fruits and vegetables. Spinach, apples, citrus fruit, watermelon, asparagus and grapes, for instance, all leave alkaline residues behind during digestion and help balance out your body’s pH. Foods that are rich in potassium, like apricots, avocados and Brussel sprouts, may be especially helpful in keeping muscle loss at bay.

WHO WE ARE

"WE ARE GOD
DREAMING
THAT WE ARE
NOT GOD."


Don Miguel Ruiz

The Choice

"You may not be able to control the events that occur during the day, especially those events that are unexpected and challenging.
But, you definitely have a choice whether you are going to allow these events to ruin your day, and how you are going to face these challenges."

Barry Gottlieb

Jealousy

When we examine jealousy of another, we can use this feeling to help us determine what we really want for ourselves.

Jealousy is one of the toughest feelings we come up against in our lives. There is not much worse than this aching sense that somehow life has been unfair to us, while amply rewarding someone else. It’s even worse if that someone else is present in our daily lives, making it difficult for us to get the space we need to feel and heal our pain. We may be jealous of a sibling, a dear friend, or even famous personalities. We may even face the challenge of feeling jealous of our spouse, our child, or one of our parents. Whatever the case, we can normalize our experience by understanding that, as painful as it is, jealousy is a common human feeling.

Nevertheless, it is important that we not revel in our jealousy for too long, feeding it with inner talk or gossip with others. If we do, we run the risk of losing ourselves to its negative power. Jealousy has something good to offer us, though, and that is information about our own heart’s desire. When we are jealous of certain people, we want what they have, and if we are to be conscious, we must acknowledge that. In this way, we discover what we want for ourselves, which is the first step to getting it. It may be a certain kind of relationship or a career.

Whatever it is, it is possible that we could create it for ourselves, in our own lives, if we are able to honor our own desires.Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us—a gift that could never be found in the life of another.

Forget The Bread

Forget the bread and start your meal with soup instead. Bread baskets make us consume more calories, but soup makes us eat less.
Diving into a loaf of French bread before dinner is a definite no-no. Devoid of fiber, protein or nutrients, bread charges through our bloodstream, stimulating the appetite. The result: We eat more during dinner than if we had no bread at all. No wonder so many establishments give out free bread!
Soup, on the other hand, can make us feel fuller. A study published in the journal Appetite found that people who started their meal with soup ate 20 percent fewer calories during dinner than those who had no appetizer. Water-packed foods like soup are generally high in volume and low in calories. Because they’re bulky, they fill us up faster and help us consume fewer calories. Even drinking a large glass of water before the main course will make us eat less.

CO-CREATING

LIFE CREATES WHAT IS REAL, AND I CREATE A STORY ABOUT WHAT IS REAL.

THE STORY IS HOW I QUALIFY, JUSTIFY, AND EXPLAIN WHAT I PERCEIVE.

MY STORY IS MY CREATION, AND IT IS A MASTERPIECE OF ART.

I CO-CREATE WITH GOD, AND HE WITH ME.

On Purpose

"Begin each day as if it were on purpose."

Mary Anne Radmacher

Seed Thoughts

Every action has its seed in a thought and every thought is a creation of the thinker, the soul.
Choose what thoughts you want to create.
Going within, touch the stillness and pure love that lie at the core of your being.
Every thought that you create can be of benefit to yourself and of benefit to humanity.

Tai Chi For Pain and Fatigue

Got arthritis? Research shows you can boost mood and alleviate pain, fatigue and stiffness by practicing tai chi twice a week.

Too sore to exercise? Try tai chi, a gentle, flowing form of martial arts that works all the major muscle groups in the body. Sometimes called meditation in motion, this low-impact, mind-body workout is perfect for people with chronic pain or injuries.

Tai chi builds strength, balance and flexibility, which can help prevent falls and other accidents. In addition, tai chi can reduce stress levels and help alleviate pain, fatigue and stiffness in people with arthritis. That’s according to the Arthritis Foundation’s most recent and largest study to date on tai chi.

Exercise is extremely important for people with arthritis. Lack of physical activity can weaken muscles, which puts extra strain on joints.

TAKING ACTION

DOING YOUR BEST MEANS TO TAKE ACTION.

YOU CAN HAVE MANY GREAT IDEAS IN YOUR HEAD, BUT WITHOUT ACTION UPON AN IDEA, THERE WILL BE NO MANIFESTATIONS, NO RESULTS, AND NO REWARD.

Accepting Natural Endings

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Focusing

“If you focus on results, you will never change.

If you focus on change, you will get results.”

Jack Dixon

Jumbo Sizes

Big containers encourage bigger helpings. Avoid buying jumbo-size packages of junk food.
If you do all of your shopping at wholesale warehouses, you could be padding more than your wallet. Colossal containers cause portion distortion, which makes us reach for 25 percent more than we would normally take. This goes for everything from laundry detergent to stale popcorn, says researcher Brian Wansink at the Cornell Food Lab. No wonder we run out of everything so quickly! And if everything you eat comes out of a mammoth package, you’re likely eating much more than you realize.
While you don’t necessarily have to stop buying in bulk, you should measure out your serving sizes so you know how much you’re taking.

Reminding Us Of What We Already Know

"I am not teaching anything.

I am just reminding others of what they remember that they know.

The knowledge I bear is not my own.

It is in each one of us."

Don Miguel Ruiz

Your Way Of Thinking

"Very little is needed to make a happy life;

it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

Marcus Aurelius

Only Filled From Within

“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Confucius

In art, negative space is the blank canvas around the subject, and it’s just as important as the painting itself. It’s integral for balance, and it frames the image.
In other words, the negative space defines the positive space.
The same can be said of our lives–the empty moments when we consciously choose to just breathe and be emphasize the moments when we choose to act. And yet we don’t always allow ourselves this simplicity.
Instead, we complicate life with constant doing and plotting to avoid the experience of sitting with ourselves and accepting the moment as it is. We stay busy to avoid confronting the dissatisfaction that can’t ever be filled with more–it can only be filled from within.

Beware The Buffet Table

Steer clear of buffets, potlucks and variety packs. The more flavors available, the more willing we are to eat past being full.

Rein in your options for the sake of your waistline. Variety may be the spice of life, but it’s the bane of dieting. The reason we chow down at all-you-can-eat buffets and major spreads like Thanksgiving isn’t because there’s a metric ton of food at our disposal. It’s because our taste buds have nearly limitless options. If all of the food laid out before us came in only one flavor, we would be much less likely to act like human garbage disposals. The more varied the options are from one another, the more we will consume.
For instance, all-you-can-eat pasta will be less tantalizing than a buffet with pasta and pizza. The same goes for entrees: One-dish meals will make you less likely to gorge past your comfort zone.
While you don’t have to turn every eating experience into a homogeneous, boring dish, do limit your choices. A little taste of everything can turn into a big dieting disaster.

ONE FORCE

THE FORCE THAT MOVES THE STARS IS THE SAME FORCE THAT MOVES THE ATOMS IN MY BODY.

THIS FORCE IS ALWAYS PRESENT AND AVAILABLE FOR ME TO SEE AND EXPERIENCE, BUT I CANNOT SEE IT WHEN MY ATTENTION IS FOCUSED ON LIES.

THERE IS ONLY ONE FORCE THAT MOVES AND TRANSFORMS EVERYTHING.

Grudges and Energy

Grudges take up brain capacity and prevent us from performing at our very best.

What we focus our minds upon grows; this is true of hatred and anger too.

Therefore, it is impossible to truly achieve great things for ourselves when we have a lot of our energetic capacity tied up in negativity.

Remember that forgiveness is primarily for YOU.

It will free up your energy tremendously.

So forgive all grudges, no matter how old they may be, and seek reconciliation.

If you find this difficult, begin with the easiest ones first.

Then gradually work up to the harder ones.

Changing Yourself For Yourself

All the years you have waited for them to "make it up to you" and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life.
And still they may not have changed.
Nothing you have done has made them change.
Indeed, they may never change.
Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you.
And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.

Massage Therapy and Stress

Work out your kinks and your stress with a massage.
Rubdowns help lower stress hormones and may even boost the immune system.
Massages aren’t just good for muscle tension — they can help wipe out stress and anxiety too.
Research suggests that rubdowns may elicit the relaxation response — a physical state of deep rest that releases tension in muscles, slows down breathing, and decreases heart rate and blood pressure.
These physiological changes can help reduce the effects of stress on the body and change how we react emotionally to pressure. In other words, it can help take the edge off.
My dear friend, Lea Keating, is an excellent LMT. You can contact her at 631/928-2487. Be sure to tell her I sent you in her direction.

A NEW DREAM

KEEP YOUR ATTENTION ON TODAY.

STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW UNDERSTANDING;

A NEW DREAM.

Pacing

"Give yourself the time you need to find your dynamic balance and rhythm before your body decides for you. Remember, you want your life to be a marathon not a hundred-yard-dash, so pace yourself."

Betty Mahalik

Self-Criticism

So how do you love yourself?

First of all and most importantly: Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU.

It may be difficult at first, but keep practicing and soon you will mean and feel what you say. Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you.

Louise Hay

Rise and Shine

Rise and Shine.

With the exception of extra sleep, which is important for health in its own right, few things should beat out exercise first thing in the morning.

Start the day with exercise and you'll feel invigorated, if for no other reason than knowing you've gotten it done.

INSEPARABLE

I AM PERFECT BECAUSE I AM INSEPARABLE FROM THE INFINITE, THE FORCE OF LIFE THAT CREATES THE STARS AND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE OF LIGHT.

I AM GOD'S CREATION.

I DON'T NEED TO BE WHAT I AM NOT.

Making Contact

"Many people have forgotten how to slow down, truly empathize and make each contact count as a genuine, sincere encounter.
It's still all about people and their feelings."


Tom Asacker