Friday, February 13, 2009

Angry, while loving another

I was meditating the other day and became aware of the fact that so many people are unable or haven't learned how to love another person while feeling angry at them or feeling frustrated with another. Some others are aware of their feelings of anger or frustration, but do not communicate their unconditional love for the other person by neither their words nor actions.

So many personality disorders and other psychological disorders, I believe, are born from one experiencing a withdrawal of love and positive regard form one's parents when the parent is annoyed or angered by a child's actions. This child begins to see the world in this way and many maladaptive schema patterns are shaped often manifesting in inappropriate views of relationships. These same children are often unable to feel love and anger towards others or for themselves. Many times, they then continue this pattern teaching their own children these schemas.

When we can experience these ambivalent feelings and can accept them we are grow as individuals. We can learn to be annoyed or perhaps angered by what someone DID rather than how we see this person as a fellow human being. We can learn how to express these angry feelings in a loving and caring way. We can also learn to love ourselves and treat ourselves with loving care even when we fall short of our desired goals and not resort to self destructive behavior patterns.

3 comments:

macarthurpark730 said...

Hi dr.crew it's adam. Im trying to see if I can get this to work

macarthurpark730 said...

ok good it worked. I was gunna say that this post reminded me of a story ram dass told. About how maharashi told him to love everyone and tell the truth at the same time. And ram dass struggled with this statement greatly.

Dr. Crew said...

Hi Adam! I'm so glad you are now a reader of my blog. I'm also so happy that I will see you more often now. I always hope you know how wonderful I know you are and I am always here for you.