Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Reframing When Things Go Wrong

Whenever something "negative" happens to us, it’s easy for us to slip into one of the following behaviors:

Self-victimization. We ask ourselves “Why is this happening to me? Why am I so unlucky? Why doesn’t this happen to anyone else? It’s not fair!”
Reacting in anger. We lash back at the situation, or even people around us, for what’s happening.
Self-blame. We make self-depreciating comments like “Why am I so stupid to have done that?” “Only someone like myself can make such a dumb mistake.”
Slipping into depression. For those of us who have faced cases of depression before, we might fall back if we’re not careful at managing our emotions.
Dejection or giving up. We lose hope, or worse still, we give up. We decide it’s not worth it, that life is out to get us, and we should just stop trying altogether.

Knowing that these responses keep us stuck, we can REFRAME our responses to negativity by providing ourselves with assurance, compassion, and love.

How would you comfort and assist someone you love when they are fearful, hurting, or angry?
This is the way you can take care of yourself.

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