Relationships

Many people live with the illusion that they can change another person. This is one of the reasons why they have relationship difficulties. People can change, yes. People do not change because of anything we do or say or make demands about.

People change for only one reason: They want to. Yes, it can be a conversation that you have with them that causes them to make a change. Yes, it can be a new way of seeing things or a new understanding that causes them to make a change. Yes, it can be an experience that initiates change within them. However, you can’t make them change. Without their cooperation and intention to do so change is quite impossible.
Allowing people in your life to be who they are is an act of pure love. Trying to change someone is, in my opinion, abusive and completely disrespectful to them. You are basically informing them that they are almost perfect but they just need to change these particular things and they will have achieved perfection. It is unkind and destructive. It will not work. Any change that may occur with a person is a change they made themselves. Accept your loved ones for whom they are in this moment. That is pure love in action.

Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin/PhD
EXCERPT: "A Prescription For Contentment"
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