Scars

Owning

Either you own your situation or it will own you. Either you take responsibility for your life, or someone else will. Blame is a scapegoat – it’s an easy way out of taking accountability for your own outcome. It’s a lot easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within. 
Blame is not constructive; it does not help you or anyone else – nobody wins in the blame game. The amount of energy and stress it takes to place blame elsewhere takes away from your ability to move forward and find a real solution.

The Things You Say

Kindness and Honesty

My responsibility to all others is to be honest and kind. Never one without the other. Honesty without kindness is cruelty. Kindness without honesty is being fake. I do not believe in this idea of being “nice”. “Nice” to me is simply doing what others either expect or want me to do. “Oh, that is not a nice thing to say” or “Be nice”. What does this really even mean?
If I know that my intention is not to be unkind or to be dishonest I am not going to be worried about how you perceive me. That is your own perception of what I said or who I am. I have no control over that perception. It belongs to you and I have no desire whatsoever to change it. I am not under the delusion that I can “make” you like me or like what I do or what I feel. My responsibility is simply to deliver my truth and my feelings in a kind and honest manner.
I want you to like me. I really do. However, I will not sacrifice my truth to allow you to be comfortable or to have you perceive me in another way. If who I am fits into your idea of what “nice” is then you can say that I am “nice”.

In my opinion, the world is suffering from too much “niceness” and not enough kindness and honesty.

I prefer to not be a part of it.

EXCERPT from "A Prescription For Contentment", by Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin
Copyrighted material; use only with permission

Walking Alone

Utter Resonsibility

I have come to understand that emotional wellness comes from accepting complete and utter responsibility for everything we say and do.
So many people have been led to believe that somehow they are responsible for another person. With the exception of one’s own children, I believe this is incorrect.
Do I believe that we have some ethical responsibilities to our fellow man? Yes, I do. We need to treat each other with fairness and kindness. We need to provide equal opportunities to others. We need to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves due to physical and emotional illness. However, are we responsible for doing for others when they can do for themselves? No. And, in fact taking care and doing things for others when they can do these things for themselves is a surefire recipe for creating dependency. Allow others to take care of themselves when they can, even when it is difficult for them to do so. To do otherwise is disrespectful to them as a fellow human being. It will eventually create a relationship of love-hate and resentment.
To accept complete and utter responsibility for our actions is enough. I am responsible for everything that I say and do, but never for your perception of what I do and for your perception of who I am. I cannot make you believe or feel anything. You are totally responsible for how you feel and perceive me. To believe otherwise is nonsense. The ability to accept our own mistakes and poor judgments is paramount to mental and emotional health.

Dr. Crewson Andrew Martin, PhD
Excerpt from "A Prescription For Contentment"
Available on Amazon.com

Fueled

Solitude

We need solitude, because when we are alone we can be detached to tasks and responsibilities.
We don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts and feel what it is that we really need, feel and desire. 
Throughout our lives there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of our own heart. 
 We can learn to respect and appreciate the sound of it, otherwise we never understand what it’s telling us. 

WMDs

OK

Sailing

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.

 Aristotle Onassis

Acknowledge

We cannot change what we refuse to confront. 
   You must acknowledge what the problem is and how it’s manifesting in your life. 
You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.

My New Book

My Book!

Minds

Rule of Thumb

Compassion

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well
can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

Pema Chodron

Hearts

Three Choices

“When something bad happens you have three choices. 

You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” 

Unknown

Different Pains

You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
  Most of the time, the only difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.